The Smiling Coast of Africa

*These are my personal views, opinions, and ramblings and do not necessarily reflect those of the United States government or The Peace Corps.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Good Night and Good Luck


Two years. Two years filled with never ending days that flew by in a blur. Its crazy to think that it is over. Its been amazing and frustrating, and usually just amazingly frustrating. As a result I am drained, mentally and physically fatigued from a culmination of two years in a very harsh environment and culture. It is mentally exhausting to live here and emotionally I am so looking forward to going home and not having to analyze every comment or action and constantly be on guard against sexual harassment and abuse. I am tired of thinking the worst of people as a means of self preservation.
It has been challenging, but I definitely would do it again if only to have the experience and understanding of myself and the way this part of the world works that i have now. For all most every moment when I wanted to pull my hair out and scream at someone, I can recall and even more vivid memory of moments spent with my favorite children, joking around with friends, being taught how to cook or farm or the community turning out in full force for a celebration. People ask me to sum up my experience in a word or a phrase, but that is impossible. The journey is filled with unexpected twists and turns, but I have passed them and now I can look back and say I've done it. I will always have these memories and valuable life experiences to fall back on wherever life takes me. I had no idea what was in store for me when I got on that plane two years ago bound for West Africa, nor could I have ever begun to imagine. Now I am in the reverse position, anxiously awaiting the next chapter of my life back home, almost equally as nervous about the unknowns but perhaps a little more confident in my ability to tackle them. This experience has changed my life and taught me innumerable lessons and for that I am deeply thankful to these people and this place and also to myself for finding the courage to let go and jump.

But there is no way I could have done it on my own and for that I want to send out a huge thank you to my friends and family, both in American and here in The Gambia, for the encouraging words, open ears and sound advice. The support has been amazing and I couldn't imagine getting through this journey without it. My service has been so shaped by the amazing friends I have made within the PC community. This journey would have been much harder without them. I want to thank them and I hope we will all continue to keep in touch once we are stateside and flung to our own destinies.
To all of you, your amazing and I'm lucky to have you in my life. God bless and catch you State side!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

So long Njongon....

The last weeks flashed into the last days. Days faded into hours, stolen moments - hugs, laughter, tears. I tried to suck all I could out of it, conscious that I would never be back here, never be this person again.

I lingered on the mat in late into the nights, staring at the stars until the mosquito's and exhaustion finally drove us indoors. I drank over 6 cups of strong, syrupy green tea in one day as cherished last conversations with friends and favorite old men. I allowed myself to be dressed up as an ebadou (the practice of covering ones head and body) Barbie for the day, memorizing the shouts of delight and the gleam in Haddy Bah's eyes as she remarked how beautiful I looked with my head covered so modestly, just as Allah intends. I watched with amusement as 10 year old Jean patiently but hopelessly tried to teach his small cousin Paul to crawl, using a mobile to coerce him across the mat. I sat in the stifling hot computer lab teaching Mariama, a grade nine student to use the computer, because she actually asked and so few students show that much initiative. I was shocked, filled with pride and my hope restored as I watched her master double clicking in less then 2 minutes her first time ever touching a computer, a task that most of my adult computer students had yet to master after 7 weeks of classes. I listened to my students and colleagues as they gave speeches thanking me for being friendly, for remembering their names and taking an interest in their classes and their lives. I handed out certificates to my very proud computer students - teachers who were very excited to show their newly acquired status symbol to the villagers and their home people. I listened as they sang songs to bid me farewell, prayed for my long life and health and the hope that I would have a very nice husband and many, many children. I clung to the children, despite their dirty faces mud covered clothes, I kissed them, tickled them and pulled their hair for the last times.

I broke down and cried as I saw Pa come over, his eyes red and welling with tears. He came to shake my hand goodbye and do his terribly adorable half hug, but I broke about 4 different cultural norms as I flung my arms around his neck, sobbing and completely unable to be stoic in the face of a crying old man. Wanting so much to express my sincere thanks and love to this man who welcomed me into his home, protected and sheltered me, imparted so much wisdom and brought so much joy and laughter to my life here. He disappeared before he could loose to much more face, as men are never supposed to cry here, just saying "go, go, I am going to the bush." and I collapsed into Ansel and YaBoi, as we cried our farewells Ansel laughed at us all for being so dramatic and urging me into the car assuring me she would see me before I got on the plane. I kissed Baby Paul and climbed into the car listening to Pauline's wails. Wailing is in general a very disturbing experience and is even more disorienting and heart wrenching when it is your friend's cries directed towards you. I stopped to give last hugs and farewells to the smiling faces of Jabou and Corr Kunda and climbed into the car drove away. As Njongon descended into a whirl of red dust behind me, I stopped and took a deep intake of air.

Just breathe.