"Slap me if I do this in America, please."
So recently myself and some friends who are also about to leave here have begun to notice annoying behaviors and personality traits about ourselves that we have picked up here that are just not going to fly in America. Here, these behaviors don't make me rude or inconsiderate, or even seem unsophsiticated. They are actually considered polite or appropriate and then for the others at least everyone does them so at least they aren't considered abnormal.
But in America, that is just not going to be the case. So I am asking, pleading in fact, for your help in the coming months as I readjust to life in the good ol' US of A. If I break any aspect of my plan....give me a good natured slap or at least remind me what country I am in.
My 10 point plan for not being a mang civilized (Mandink-lish for "You are not civilized")
- Remeber that in America a limp handshake = creepy/rude/weak
- Stop using the present progressive tense at all times. (Ex: Are you having?)
- Stop hissing at people to catch their attention or to flag down a taxi
- Stop sucking my teeth to show disapproval or disagreement
- Avoid beating/saying rude things to children
- Spitting. Don't do it.
- Think very hard before asking for inappropriate gifts or favors from friends, or complete strangers for that matter.
- Find an alternative activity for the time I currently spend staring at walls and/or livestock
- Try not to respond "it's true" or "fine, fine" to every statement made by another person
- Greeting extensivly aka asking "how are you?" more than 3 times in a 2 minute span
- *Say please and thank you