"Slap me if I do this in America, please."

So recently myself and some friends who are also about to leave here have begun to notice annoying behaviors and personality traits about ourselves that we have picked up here that are just not going to fly in America. Here, these behaviors don't make me rude or inconsiderate, or even seem unsophsiticated. They are actually considered polite or appropriate and then for the others at least everyone does them so at least they aren't considered abnormal.

But in America, that is just not going to be the case. So I am asking, pleading in fact, for your help in the coming months as I readjust to life in the good ol' US of A. If I break any aspect of my plan....give me a good natured slap or at least remind me what country I am in.

My 10 point plan for not being a mang civilized (Mandink-lish for "You are not civilized")

1. Remeber that in America a limp handshake = creepy/rude/weak
2. Stop using the present progressive tense at all times. (Ex: Are you having?)
3. Stop hissing at people to catch their attention or to flag down a taxi
4. Stop sucking my teeth to show disapproval or disagreement
5. Avoid beating/saying rude things to children
6. Spitting. Don't do it.
7. Think very hard before asking for inappropriate gifts or favors from friends, or complete strangers for that matter.
8. Find an alternative activity for the time I currently spend staring at walls and/or livestock
9. Try not to respond "it's true" or "fine, fine" to every statement made by another person
10. Greeting extensivly aka asking "how are you?" more than 3 times in a 2 minute span
11. *Say please and thank you

Dear Mr. Excellent President of America

Mr. Excellent President of America, *

It is my honorable pleasure to write you one letter. I am asking after your health and that of your family. I thank God. Excuse me, for my writing is not good. Mr. President, I greet you very well. I am greeting your family, your good wife and your parents.

My name is Alexi-Wali Saine. I am of the race of Serrer. I am Senegalese. I am a farmer and I have 70 years. About 34 years I am here in The Gambia. I am in a bad place. It is true that I am poor, dear president. I want to build a house in Dakar but I am not able to yet in my life. I have nothing here but I am greeting God that I have my life and my health. I want to return to Senegal but I cannot. My dear president, with your grand experience, I am wanting your help.

For me, thank you in advance dear president. You are my friend, long time you are president until now. I am always hearing you on the radio. I know that America is a great country and I know that you are a great man. I keep you in my heart all these years, you are my friend till death. Thank you.

Yours, Alexi Wali Saine

*Translated from the French, to the Wolof, to the English. So in the end, maybe its just the gist of what he actually wrote.
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The above is a genuine letter from my host father to President Bush. He is a huge fan. I'm talking huge. Whenever they mention the US on the radio, inevitably he conversation turns to questions about American politics and the great things, in PaSaine's view, that our great President has done for the world. It is hard to get Pa to pinpoint exactly what these great things are but they seem to fall into the realm of he is christian, he is fight against the Arabs (which are not a much loved people here) and he came to Africa once. Pa's deep love and deference for my President inspired him to write him a fan letter of sorts and also to ask him for help. Cause, hey, it couldn't hurt. Pa was amazed that I knew the address of the White House and that people can actually send letters to their elected officials and expect them to actually be read, at least by someone.

Most Gambians tend to go with Clinton as the favorite American political figure, but Pa sticks by Bush. The majority of Gambians that I have talked to can back up their stance and are amazingly informed about world and US politics, much more so then the average American. I have found this trait in many countries that I have visited. People care deeply who gets elected and how they govern. They cannot vote in our elections, they have no say in what happens but the decisions that Americans make when they go to the voting boothes (or sadly don't go) effects millions of people around the world. And that is why Gambians, Indians, Koreans and Brazilians can summarize American foreign policy with accuracy and clarity that would shame the majority of even the most educated Americans. They pour over my Newsweeks and love asking questions of a "real live American". And they absolutely cannot fathom why I don't know some of the answers to their questions. They cannot fathom why an American would not vote.

So vote, be informed and think about how that vote affects not only you but millions of people around the world. Is that vote going to make us friends or enemies? Is is going to widen the gap between the haves and have nots? Or bring the world closer together by giving everyone a fair chance?

Think about it and take advantage of the freedoms we to easily take for granted - fair elections.